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Down the rabbit hole. A Rude awaking September 11, 2009

Posted by Gaylena in Positive change, Self Growth.
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Quite some time back I wrote a blog titled down the rabbit hole where I talked about resentment towards people and situations. To be more exact, people holding resentment towards others in situations they have themselves been in at one time.

One time someone I knew commented on someone’s situation and though he had been through he could relate to the situation. He still talked down about the other persons situation, now you would think that if you had been down a hard road yourself that you could be understanding.

Since I will not give out their names I will call them Jack and Adam, both are smokers and while one still drinks the other is in AA. Both have had their trouble is dating and other things, though Adam is older by four years Jack thinks Adam is an idiot.

Since they both had their fair share of hard times I thought they could relate to each other but quite the opposite. The reason they resent each other is that, when Jack saw something of himself Adam, it was like looking into a mirror and he couldn’t take it and resented Adam for it

For a clearer understanding of what I mean is, when you judge something in someone your actually judging yourself. Sounds weird, but it’s true and the reason I know this is I caught myself judging something I didn’t like in someone.

In fact I realized that what I was seeing and judging was in fact just myself reflected back at me. Needless to say that having realized that I looked differently at the person. Because I was actually judging a part of myself that I’d never accepted until then.

It seems strange to think that when you find something you don’t like in someone else that it is a part of you reflected back. So the problem lies within you not another person, so from now on when you see something in someone that you don’t like, take a look in the mirror.

It’s usually just something that has not been addressed, a part of yourself that might very well be on the subconscious level. Something that was buried by not acknowledging it, as was the case with Jack and dresenting Adam.

In the example of Jack and Adam, Jack thought and felt that Adam, was just stupid and relied to much on other people to get him out trouble.The truth of the matter is that he had only to look at himself to see that he did the same thing and that he didn’t like it.

Furthermore he wouldn’t acknowledge it to himself and hated that part of himself  and considered it weak. So he held resentment towards anyone with what he considered that same “Weakness”

Have you found yourself in such a place where you are judging someone else for something that is really within yourself? Maybe you don’t even know it like I did not before I really stopped to take a good LOOK.

The world, people, circumstances and situations are all created by you and whatever you see in it. It is all just a is reflection if what’s going on inside of you, so if you don’t like how someone is treating you in your reality find out what thoughts you hold that are really creating it.

Know the feeling when see you a little of yourself in someone or heard someone say “I see some of myself in him/her”. That’s what it’s like because the fact of matter is that people can mirrors us and what’s going on inside and if you don’t like what’s outside you need only change what’s inside.

Patterns in any area of your life indicate something unresolved that is probably on a subconscious level. Outside world reflected back is helpful for what’s going inside if you were unaware, it might be something you haven’t accepted about yourself and it’s your way getting your  attention.

Usually the best way to get your attention is in repeating patterns. The reason it is repeated is because you didn’t deal with it the first time so it keeps coming back until you resolve it. Once resolved it will no longer reappear.

In some cases it’s about accepting a part of yourself that will rid you of a pattern since patterns arise for good reasons. If you experience patterns in relationship, such as dating someone that doesn’t treat you right or some other such thing, then you know it’s subconscious.

It means that something in your past is creating this pattern and until you figure out what it is and resolve it it will always be an issue. For example I experienced a pattern in the area of relationship and upon close examination learned that I needed to accept things about myself.

A way of looking at it is to accept the darker side of our nature and we all have one, I accepted things I thought were dark. Or “bad” we need to do accept every now and then and realize that those things that we feel are so bad are often not at all.

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